next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize