I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
