Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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