my mouth tastes like poor choices
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
