Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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