i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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