Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
