how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
