he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
