they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
