I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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