what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
