Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
