Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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