I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
