just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
