I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
