just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
