I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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