Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
