Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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