what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
