Got a toothbrush?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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