are you still at the devil's house?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
