Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
