that's an acceptable place to lick
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
