just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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