I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
