i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In America we eat man semen.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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