I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
They are going to name an STD after you.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
