ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
