I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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