he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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