I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
