am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
