do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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