# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
