He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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