we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
