The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
