Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
