I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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