The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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