bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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