too bad you live with your parents still
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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