He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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