She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
