wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
