wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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