matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Quick, to the slutcave!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize