My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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