did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
