Duck Duck Cougar?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize