i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We need to rekindle our bromance
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
