I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
