hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
