I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
