Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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