how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize