This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
