Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize