Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize