wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
