I love having hate sex.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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