What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
