I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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